Getting a divorce is a difficult process for many couples. One of the more challenging parts of the process is telling your children about your divorce.
Seeking divorce advice
When you tell loved ones that you and your spouse are getting divorced, they will likely offer a range of divorce advice. While well-meaning, be wary of their advice, especially when it concerns how you should tell your children about the divorce. Seeking divorce advice from divorce attorneys as well as a child psychologist is wise and recommended.
Telling your children that you are getting a divorce
All divorce attorneys can agree that parents should prioritize the children when that couple decides to separate. Unfortunately, in some volatile divorce cases, children become victims of their parents’ circumstance.
While you may believe that you are right, your soon-to-be ex-spouse likely believes they are also right. This can confuse and frustrate your children. Also, to make this transition as easy as possible, do not speak badly about one another in front of your children.
To ensure that your children do not feel caught in the middle of a custody battle where they feel pressured to pick a side, psychologists recommend helping your children develop certain habits. These habits include thinking critically (or being aware of their thoughts), considering their options (or taking time to think without feeling pressured to act or decide something right away), trusting themselves (or identifying and applying their core values), and using healthy coping skills (or talking to teachers, friends, and family or practicing positive self-talk and using relaxation strategies).
Despite these habits, sometimes a child picks a side. Many parents fear this as they experience a divorce, and divorce attorneys understand it. If your child takes your ex-spouse’s side (which is more common with teen children), then it is important to handle their decision carefully. Considering using a mediator who understands the situation and whom your child trusts as a way to plead your case without overwhelming your child.
Also, consider focusing on your child’s needs. If they need a permission slip signed or money for car insurance, then offer it willingly but state that for you to complete with this agreement, you will need to meet them in person. Always offer to help them when they need it, and you will slowly rebuild their trust. If you are still unsure of how to proceed, then address this issue with your divorce lawyer.
Questions to ask my divorce lawyer
Your divorce lawyer is here for you, questions do not bother them. In fact, many online ask, “What are some questions to ask my divorce lawyer?” If you have children, then ask your divorce lawyer if they have experience working in family law. It is important to work with a lawyer who understands custody agreements and acts with poise.
It is also important to know how Arkansas handles divorce cases, especially ones that involve children.
Hiring a divorce lawyer
It is important that you hire a trustworthy divorce lawyer. This becomes crucial when you involve children. Divorce law is complicated because a divorce affects many people. Hiring a divorce lawyer is like seeking out a therapist: One size does not fit all. It is okay to contact many divorce lawyers until you find one with whom you feel comfortable.
Divorce makes you feel vulnerable and emotionally drained. It is therefore important that you feel safe with the lawyer whom you hire. Furthermore, find a divorce lawyer who does not push you toward divorce without first advising you on what a divorce means for you and your spouse. A good divorce lawyer will not try to convince you to stay married, but may present alternative options that could be available to you like an annulment or a marriage separation.
We at Mann & Kemp known the complexities surrounding divorce. Living arrangements, financials, family relationships, and friendships all change when a couple decides to divorce. Aiming to keep your stress at a minimum, we prioritize working with you and your spouse to come to an agreeable end to the marriage. In an attempt to rid you and your spouse of the financial burdens of divorce, along with attempting to avoid a nasty custody battle, we hope that you can move forward with ease. Contact Mann & Kemp at 501-222-4730 today to speak with an attorney experienced in family law.